fuckingsmilesweetheart.

memories

2009-11-12T15:37:20Z

prince (: hi everyone, phone number please (: says:
just now i suddenly thought of us cycling ard the neighbourhood at our tamp home last time
then go to the minimart buy food
then go fetch esther
and steal mummy money go buy the stupid huan zhu gege card
then mummy scold us ):

memories are kept in my heart forever <3

keep safe sister!

Out

2009-11-11T17:04:32Z

Two mega ♥ (:

better,

2009-11-09T13:06:01Z

I can be better. Believe in me, I will be.

The world I am in,

2009-11-08T16:43:29Z

I am feeling so goddamn pissed, and angry with myself.

Workload is increasing like fuck. House is getting messier and messier. And I am getting pissed at myself day by day. I just can't seem to get myself focused on school work/iguides stuff. Each time when I get home, I will tell myself to do this and that after dinner and stay focused and get it done by whatever timing. But I just can't. I feel so goddamn loserish, so useless, so lazy. And I never fail to feel sleepy everyday during class and meetings! I feel so disorganized, disorientated, so slack. Tutorials lying around here and there, organizer not updated, not even sure of when's class tests. And I can't even find my ibanking device & keys (lost them about couple of days ago) which I practically use them everyday.

Goodness, nobody will ever want to feel this way, trust me. It's the last semester and everyone is chionging like a bullet train. I don't see the motivation in me to do so anymore. It's like UGH. And I just snapped at daddy which I didn't even have the intention to do so. I'm sorry.

Nabei.

I reckon, I will be feeling like this till I-don't-know-when.

Don't even have the mood for educational trip anymore. Probably I shouldn't even have signed up for it in the first place.

Pardon me for my language. Everyone has got their bad days once in a while and I guess mine just falls on this day.

Screw myself.

treasure,

2009-11-03T13:56:27Z

“You think your not pretty, There is always someone uglier. You want more money, People are in poverty. You want a boyfriend, Someone doesn’t even have parents. Your hungry, a child is starving. You want to go to the mall, someone is looking for anything that they can wear just to stay warm. Your chilly, others are frozen. You just want to die, most people want to live. So don’t waste your time on things that you think you want because there is always someone out there who needs it much more than you could ever possibly know.”

the little signs

2009-11-02T10:30:28Z

Goodness gracious.

We're into the third week of school. So how's that? I must say that things are moving at a pretty damn fast speed right now, which kind of turns me off. It's like, the day passes by without me doing anything fruitful. Hurhur.

MacDonalds for lunch together with the project mates. Mark, Angel and I were totally excited about the monopoly game tags. Haha. We're left with 1 of every colours, Sentosa Cove and Marina Bay. Oh anyway, I heard from someone (I think it was Louis) that MacDonalds didn't even produce Sentosa Cove's game tag. So no one can ever get the blue combo and win $50k. $50k, can fly me to aussie to study for years.

Volunteered for Sentosa Spooktacular event on the weekends. It was fun and at the same time entertaining. Went into IOS on Friday night after the event. And I realised that when you walk together with a big group of people into any huanted house, it doesn't get any better than hearing their screams. Hahaha. Oh, and I must say that the main talents did a superb job. Make-ups are so realistic and that sometimes Ruth and Sharlene really does look like one.

I'm still in school, waiting for 7pm for meeting, and then partyeeee at Hard Rock Cafe later! (:

Please learn to control your emotions. Learn to be your own person. These feelings don't feel safe. Maybe try to stop feeling like everything is your responsibility, because sometimes it just isn't. Sometimes you just have to settle for just being there, nothing more.

Also, do your work. And don't get fat.

bangable banging bangs.

2009-10-29T16:47:25Z

I'm a happy girl cause I've gotten Visa's and Singapore GP pay on the same day! Yay!
& for once, I am feeling rich. HAHAHAHA.

School ended early today and headed down to town to slack. (:
Manicure, window shopping, slacking. Much love ♥
Had a filling dinner over at Soup Spoon together with Poop, Sharlene, Vivien and Shuhui. And that's when all the bitchings and funny talks fall into place. Lol.

OH! And I had a new bangs haircut.

Kay, we're nearing the end of 2nd week of school. So far, so good. Needa get back my love for projects and studying again. Hurhurr.

Spooktacular tomorrow and Saturday; reckon that it's gonna be damn fun, judging from what Sharlene had told me. Teehee.

Stress and tough week next week :(

Alright, short & sweet!
G'night!

round and round

2009-10-25T15:36:51Z

Wednesday;
Rushed down to meet up with the girls to celebrate FamYiting's 19th.
Celebration at Timbre again! And JoeyWan and I finally ate our Garlic Cream Prawn Pasta. Heeee.
Oh, and as usual. A treat of Flaming Lamborghini Tower from us to birthday girl.
& Band singing was great (:
20 colourful balloons were nice, but what a pity! Awww..

More pictures on Joey's fb. I'm tad lazy to upload all. Heheeee.

Saturday;
Baked cheesecake with 小姑 - yummy!
Swam with Wan & Fam,
followed by dinner and frolick at Serangoon Gardens together with Wanny's bf,
then impromptu midnight movie at EHub.

My Sister's Keeper is sad to the max please.
Sets me thinking, and got reminded of dearest momo. :(

Sunday;
Wedding buffet at NSRCC, then headed over to Mount Faber SAFRA to pool with cousins.
I think dad's the only old one who is so damn close with the cousins. HAHA. He joins them for all of the activities, like literally. I likey :)
Played the number game - like fun only! Shall teach my other friends soon! (That is if we ever play pool together. Hahaha.)
Dinner over at Seng Poh Road - nice!

School tomorrow; rejoice or not?

stop

2009-10-23T15:56:32Z

:'(
I don’t dare to feel tired.

Feels like a long day today. I feel so damn tired, so damn sleepy and so damn sick of myself eating so much. I feel damn irritated by everything, everyone. I feel so whiney.

Hello to my lovely weekends?

幸福呢？

2009-10-20T16:13:56Z

“什么才是真正的幸福?”

just want to write

2009-10-18T16:34:21Z

Holy shit.

So much to do, so little time. Like literally, there's tons and tons of stuff waiting for me to pack and clear them. Need to clear the table, pack the room(S) (I got to pack sister's room for her too! Oh man.. ), get an instructor, yadah yadah and most importantly; BE MORE ORGANIZED! Seriously, after printing out the lecture notes for the upcoming week, I'm freaking out. I am really very terribly extremely scared. :'(

School starts = more late nights + darker panda eyes + pimple prone + more stress + more depression + more emotional - stayovers - sessions - personal time - gfs meet ups = DIE.

Tell me what to do, please?

Ok, I have to pack the table before all hell break loose from dad again.

Needyouhere, badly.

九月初一

2009-10-17T16:25:58Z

24 more hours to go before a whole new semester starts all over again. Thankfully, I still have got Monday free, so that makes it 48 hours!

Dearest Susan came over last evening after doing the miscellaneous stuff in school with the forever yaking PPR people. Had a fairly simple dinner together and then off to Bishan to meet up with Clair and co to celebrate birthday! We prawned, and I managed to prawn 6 prawns! Cool shit! Beginner's luck? Hehehe. What a pity that I couldn't get to enjoy the big fat prawns that we caught and the surprised they gave Clair cause I had to rush off to fetch sister from the airport in the middle of the night!

Hey ClairKong, hope you like the surprised that they gave you last night! (:

And yes, sister is back in town for only 2 pathetic days. Boohooo.

九月初一，我好想你。你呢？

white

2009-10-16T08:12:01Z

Am I angry at myself?
Or am I angry at you?
I read, and I read again.
I don’t get it. I really don’t.
Be rational. Teach me how, please.
Be fine. Teach me how, please.
A part of hope is dying.
And if you would, save it, please.

I tried reasoning with myself. I tried to come up with a reason to feel happy.
My reasons can’t come to terms with each other. I don’t understand my reasons.

Gawd. This sucks.

想不再去想

2009-10-14T18:18:27Z

I honestly just wish for simple things.
And it seems so hard. Its really hard yea?

Hurts me whenever I look at the pictures on my walls.

曾經唱過的歌　分享過的笑聲　在心中不斷拉扯
想念不能承認　偷偷擦去淚痕　冬天過了還是會很冷

Time is the essense

2009-10-12T12:46:29Z

Bangkok was a blast with the girls. Photos still with them cos I was busy shopping instead of snapping. Okay wrong, guess it should be the other way round. So that explains why I'm seldom in the photos. Haha. Pity we didn't get to visit the clubs cos we were too busy shopping at night markets and all. But on the other hand, is was sort of good also, cos you know, female problems. hur

Now it's back to school and it's starting in a week's time, but I feel like I'm still holidaying. I mean, anyone else would feel the same. So that sentence was kind of redundant. I hope i'm able to catch up, cos apparantly this upcoming semester's work is much tougher. Drats! Why am I even talking about school when I still have another week to enjoy. Haha whatever, really.

And then to the upper management, please hurry and finish up the payroll and get approval from Juliana and Kenneth soon. Need the monies to cover up whatever I spent on the Bangkok trip.

Today, I spent some me-time. I rest. Headed down to the mall to get daily necessities and to develop the negatives and home to read some magazines. Feels good. :)

This whole entry seems very off, like just blogging for the sake of blogging.
Till I blog again. Ciaos!

not working at all

2009-10-05T05:46:19Z

Leonard shared this link and video with me. And it seriously moved me to tears.

View this!

Then it was Robin with this,

Gives me hope.

Hahaha. Anyway, work for the past few days/weeks were good, only because of the fun people that I'm working with. :D

Dang! What a cui face I have. -.-
Work again is canceled tomorrow.
Just when can I complete my 22 days, get my pay and ciao from this job..........

What did you choose?

As I am

2009-10-03T14:11:57Z

And.... I skipped the halloween night with the working mates, all because of the irritating cramp :(

But still, I figured out that I shouldn't waste my off day stoning at home last night so I called upon hun and headed out for dinner with her in the evening. Then, met Darren for supper and off to Sentosa Cove. Had a long talk with good friend over the chilly sea breeze, explored and toured around the small little cove island. Goodness, it was such a damn nice residential area. Big bungalows, with private swimming pool, expensive vehicles and yatches. Faints*

It has always been good talking to them, like they can read my mind without having me to speak much. Hahaha.

Am seeing the besties soon like, the following weekend! WOOOOOOOOO. Can't wait! You girls know what I'm driving at. ;)

Home on a chilly Saturday night. Oh! Happy mid autumn festival. :)

two is better than one.

2009-10-01T16:23:30Z

ROGER .MiniCooper [ GO.™ ] says:
fiona
FEE.G says:
yessssss?
ROGER .MiniCooper [ GO.™ ] says:
i want to let u know somrthing
i know its abit late
but still
happy belated children's day
(:

Definitely brighten up my night/day. Hahaha.

No work tmr, and our dear Sharlene suggested to have a Night Safari outing with the working mates!
Night Safari cum Halloween. Coooooolll shit (:

Pinning for nothingness

2009-09-28T16:35:51Z

National Stadium is not as happening as Paddock Club but we still had our fair share of fun times, like the water therapy and water pouring session. Hahaha.

My back and feet are aching. And yes, I can feel the strain on my back while I am typing.

I guess I need to head down to Cold Storage for some groceries shopping soon. Haha. I always enjoyed walking along the aisle and looking at the rows of food stuff and daily necessities. Whoa, talk about FOODDIEEE. :D

Heard My Love My Fate on the radio and my mood committed suicide right after.

Still typing, back’s still aching.
If you ask me, I honestly don’t know how I am feeling now.
I just don’t want to think about it anymore.

Lets just work hard now and live today.

Happy birthday hun! (:

possibility,

2009-09-21T14:31:28Z

I miss the DOSYF Tioman clique. Haha.
The crappy moments we had on bus trips, vomitting and dizzy spells on boat rides, suntanning with the loves on our trip back to sg, and of course not forgetting the twisting moments we had.

Guess I gotta get myself tanner before school starts. I dislike it when I didn't look burn nor look tanned. Something's wrong with my skin, with so many of those white cells (whatever you call them, really) that prevent me from getting dark. Drats! But nonetheless I really had fun with all of them for they're always the ones that are able to make me laugh out loud and smile from the bottom of my heart.

And I'm meeting hun sometime next week. Looking forward to that! I just can never hide anything from her, thank you for listening to my long-winded story. It's much appreciated.

Oh, did I mention that dad drove me out for late dinner just few days ago, on Saturday. I had my fair share of fun while turning his steering wheel left and right while he stepeed on the accelerator. It was really fun man. Haha can't wait to drive. But god-knows-when I will actually start learning. Hur.

Had F1 site orientation this morning. Shiat. What a good day to choose for orientation. I can't even sleep in! Frolick-ed and people watch with yol and derek and headed home after an early dinner. Wow, home so early on a Public Holiday. But I'm cool. I get to watch teevee, manage my folders, pack study table, et cetera, et cetera. Dad came back and was sort of shocked to see me home. Haha like hello, it's not like every night I come back late, his expression was really hilarious at that point of time.

Lately, I suppose so that I am /got addicted to instant packet bee hoon. Like seriously. I wouldn't mind skipping dinner and have that as a late dinner/supper for me. Hahaha. I must be weird. Could be time of the month I guess. HA!

Been having dizzy spells these couple of days. Guess I should just rest early because there's work tmr! Sheesh!
Alright, so till then! (:

the ugly truth

2009-09-18T18:53:18Z

Work has been seriously seriously tiring. :(
Thank goodness for the long weekend to recharge.

Caught "The Ugly Truth" with bestie on a wonderful rainy Friday evening.
Movie was good and funny. Thought their lines and quotes was somehow true :)

Irritating sister is coming back in a month's time! MUAA.

and i don't know where you are
all i know is your far
and your not coming back
if this is how it goes
i tried but i dont know

where are you hiding? cause' I don't see any signs of you :(

for the record,

2009-09-14T14:24:38Z

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

Sia lah. This seriously sucks.

After much psycho-ing from yol, contemplation and procrastination, I have decided to do something meaningful at least once in my lifetime; to run for the upcoming Nike+ Human Race. But TMD. When I clicked on the link, it reads "The registration is full."

Kns, guess I took a little to long to decide. Hahaha. Nehmind, next year then! :D

Psst! How about Swisssotel Vertical Marathon? Seems fun? Teeheee.
I think I must be crazy. Hahaha.

I needa turn in early tonight. Work's starting tmr, but I have no hwee-ling at all. My head is spinning (You spin my head right round, right round.), and the damn cough and runny nose still ain't recovering. Crappp.

The weather is so very humid and sick.
Let's travel to........... Perth, and visit sister. YAY!

fallen leaves like a blanket

2009-09-13T16:55:58Z

Met up with honeypoots, slacked till late and took photos at our secret and enclosed area. (:
Am glad that she is enjoying her internship with NParks so much. So much fun and exposure to the environment, plants and flowers.
Man, I'm jealous of you! Should have chosen your course!

Been snacking a lot these days. Time to cut down, save up and slim down (the face lah okay). Else people like Derek and Ali start laughing and teasing me again. But then as usual, all talks but no action. Hahahaha. Work is starting soon, on Tuesday. Man, better not delay it again. Keeping the fingers crossed!

Kay, that aside.

Chanced upon this particular entry which I thought was rather meaningful. So here's smth to share!

"to me, it is so very important that girls embrace each other, rather than turn on each other.
regretfully, i participated in cattiness and gossip and spite and judgment towards other girls - to the extreme - up until very recently. i don't know how i learned such behavior. i don't know how or why i thought it was okay. i experienced it from both angles, on both sides. giving and receiving. for so long, my very being was polluted with such negativity. and i plotted and schemed purposefully to upset or anger or hurt or cause grief to those i perceived to be my 'enemies'. i was whacked out for what seems to be ages!

we, as females, are up against a lot in this life. we always have been. i have learned that it is imperative that we support each other through it all. for those of you who have been there, or are there now, i would be so happy if you really contemplated what i'm trying to say, how i feel about this issue. i feel that we need to respect and honor our fellow sisters, and help each other out as much as we can. to realize and accept our flaws and differences. i had a personal awakening and i saw the direction i was going in. if i continued this nonsense, this pollution, i would live the rest of my adult life in such unhappiness. in such dishonor and disgrace.

my personal, positive change is to embrace all girls as they are. life is full of heartache. it will always be there. but i think we can all overcome whatever ails us if we just stick together. if we see each other as sisters."

Love the sisters :D

gravity

2009-09-12T17:22:54Z

Past few days were pretty fulfilling and blissful I must say. Airport late night with Yol and Orange, and Earthquake treat at Swensens from Orange after much persuasion and psycho-ing. Last minute mj session with Markie and Derek. Meetings with the committee. Time Travelers Wife with Yol, Shermin and Yap, stayover and slacked. Frolicked. House hopped to godma's cosy home last night. And here I am, back home.

Proposals, and more proposals. :(
Well, glad to know that at least there's only minor changes for us to work on it.
Let's go team!

The weather is shit. And I'm falling sick.

You have officially lost me.
Five words granted.
Thankyouverymuch.

~~& do you still remember your promise to me?~~

we rock you off

2009-09-03T15:40:55Z

Enjoyed iguides mc retreat like totally :)

♥ Night race
♥ Kings game
♥ Retarded forfeits
♥ Beach bonding session
♥ Pool session (Yes stop laughing, I know my dive totally cmi. I will master it someday :) )
♥ BBQ
♥ HTH talks
♥ Drinking session

Photos will be up soon!

This morning, I dreamt that I was walking down an unfamiliar street towards a familiar face.